


Shattered Heart and Mind

by Castianamicheals



Category: Criminal Minds, X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-30
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2018-03-08 15:21:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 4,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3214010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Castianamicheals/pseuds/Castianamicheals
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Logan is thrown into a world of torment when an old friend unexpectedly shows up at the Mansion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bad News, Badder News and Worse News

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warnings: Past physical abuse, self-harm and suicide.  
> Rated for Future Chapters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on a scenario that was running through my head waaaaay back in the early 1990's when I was in Junior High.

The door was open by the time she had walked up the long driveway to the front door and standing in the door way, waiting for her, was Remy. “ _Bonjour, Remy. Comment ça va_?” She asked tiredly, avoiding his eyes and strengthening her own shields.

“ _Ça va bien, Cherie. Et tu_?” He replied, trying his best to at least catch her eyes even if he couldn’t read her with his empathy.

She shrugged in response. “And that, _mon ami,_ is the extent of my conversational French.”

“Rems, who’s at the door?” A tall young man with brown hair in a boyband haircut asked coming over to them. Remy stepped aside, let the pale young woman in and closed the door. She took vague notice of the fact that he was using a cane and then immediately dismissed him.

“ _Cher_ , I would like you to meet an _amie_ of mine and Logan’s. Shadow Soul I would like you to meet  _mon_ _amour_ , Doctor Spencer Reid.“ Remy made the introductions with his usual flare, even though Spencer knew he had met her somewhere else before. He set that particular memory search to run in the background of his mind and looked more closely at her.

He noticed the lines of strain around her mouth and eyes, the paleness of her drawn features and the thinness of her body. She was short, probably around five three, weighing no more than probably a hundred pounds soaking wet and her eyes were a muddled hazel-blue colour. He also noticed and recognized the signs of shock in her eyes. He used to see the same look in his mirror after a particularly brutal crime scene.

“Is Logan here?” She asked, a dim kind of hope laced her voice. _‘Please, Logan, be here.’_

“ _Oui, Cherie_. ‘E is in training wit’ Fearless.” Remy replied, concern clear in his red and black eyes.“Would you like Remy to go an’ get ‘im?”

When she nodded, he looked briefly at Spencer with a question in his eyes. Spencer just nodded and the other man left the room. After Remy left, Spencer reached out with his empathy and was a little surprised that he got nothing from her. In fact, to him it felt like he would have an easier time trying to get into Fort Knox than he would if he tried to really get past her shields. That level of self-protection worried him and he wondered exactly who she was and what was going on.

“Would you like something to drink?” He asked softly. When she looked up at him with shock empty eyes it didn’t look as if his question had registered in her brain. When she shook her head, he took that to mean that she was politely declining his offer and so, without saying anything more, he led her into his office.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------

 

He knew she was there. Had known it from the moment she passed through the gates. Unfortunately, he couldn't go meet her because he was in the middle of a rather intense training session. A few seconds after he absently acknowledged her presence, a pain so intense that it drove him to his knees and stole his breath sang along the link that they shared. It was gone as quickly as it arrived and left him vulnerable to an explosion that threw him a good foot away. He rolled to his feet with the impact.

"Damn it, Wolverine! Pay attention!" Cyclops snapped in irritation.

Wolverine just growled and started towards the exit, much to Cyclops' amazement.

"We're not done yet!" The tall brunette snapped.

"Yeah, well, I am!" Wolverine snapped back. He had a sinking feeling that whatever was going on with her couldn't be good.

He met up with Remy just outside the door to the Danger Room and Remy looked relieved to see him.

Wolverine beat him to the punch. "She say anything?"

" _Non,_ Wolvie. But she don' look good. Penny has her in his office." Remy looked very worried.

There was no conversation between the two men as they went grimly up to Spencer's office. When they arrived, Spencer was at his desk looking over some papers and Shadow was sitting on the sofa staring blankly at the wall. Remy gave a soft knock before opening the door and the two men entered. Wolverine immediately went over to the woman and sat down beside her.

"Hey, Darlin'." He said softly, turning her head so that he could see her face. "You wanna talk about it?"

She made a small whimpering sound and started to shake. He just smoothed her hair and ran his hand soothingly down her back. Remy and Spencer made to leave, intending to give them their privacy, but Logan caught their eye and shook his head. So they leaned up against the door, effectively blocking access to all but the most determined.

"He left me." She said, so low that the three men almost didn't hear her. "He left me for that blue-skinned bitch!" And the tears started to run down her face. Spencer shot a questioning look at Remy and Remy gave him the 'I'll explain later.' look. Logan waited knowing that couldn't be all of it.

"I'm pregnant with his baby and I never got a chance to tell him." And she paused again. Logan gave a low growl of anger and a faint smile graced her face before it fell. And Logan waited again. Knowing that the worst has yet to be said.

"I got a call from the New York D.A's office this morning."

Logan and Remy's eyes widened and Spencer, who had been watching Shadow, noticed that she looked like she was about to shatter into pieces. None of the men pressured her to continue. They just waited patiently.

"He's being let out on parole Monday." She choked out and then she broke down and bawled quietly. Logan took her onto his lap and let her weep into his chest. The look on his face was murderous. Spencer saw a similar expression on Remy's face and resolved to ask him about when they were alone again. He grimaced a little as pain shot through his bad leg.

"Go sit down, _Cher_." Remy told him quietly. He gave his lover a grateful look and did just that.

Logan, meanwhile, was doing his best to comfort the young woman on his lap. "I've gotcha, Darlin'. You're safe. He's not gonna hurt ya anymore. I promise." He whispered to her, stroking her hair and back soothingly.

The last time that Spencer had seen that kind of reaction was from a victim of a particularly sadistic kidnapper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are love.


	2. Ko

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer meets Ko and learns a little more about the woman (women?) that has his ferocious feral friend acting oddly docile.

Spencer was covertly watching the couple on his sofa when he noticed that quite suddenly her tears didn’t so much trail off as abruptly stop as her back stiffened and her head came up. He watched as the other two men’s attitude subtly changed towards the young woman as she stood up and turned to face him. She absently wiped the tears away from her face and looked right at him. Her eyes had turned a dark, almost black, brown colour and she regarded him with a neutral expression.

“Hello, Dr. Reid.” She greeted in an emotionless voice and, by the way her mouth quirked into a wry smile; he hadn’t quite covered his shock at this change in her behaviour.

“Hello.” He greeted carefully. He was watching her with a hopefully neutral expression of his own. A genuine smile curved her lips, but didn’t reach her eyes. Those stayed emotionless and he carefully schooled his expression into one that he had used in his previous job as a profiler. He took a stab in the dark with his next question.

“May I know to whom I am speaking with?” He watched as her eyebrows crept up in admiration and he ignored the reactions of the other two men. His focus solely on the strange young woman in front of him.

“You may call me Ko. I’m impressed. Not many people can pick up on these sorts of changes. Most just put the changes in behaviour down to mood swings. But then, you’re not like most people, are you, Doctor?”

Spencer’s own lips quirked into his own smile as he picked up on her obvious intelligence. “No. I’m not. May I ask why I’m speaking with you?”

“To understand the upcoming events and behaviours, you will need to know what happened in the past and since both James and Remy trust you implicitly, then I shall as well. Just know that the only reason why I’m Out is to explain things that the others are unable to. I generally work behind the scenes as it were. I let the others know what they need to so that they can function somewhat normally without letting anyone know the true extant of our problems.”

“So, you’re the one that remembers everything.” He guessed as he settled back in his chair.

“Yes.”

“How many others are there?” He asked, curious.

“Seven including myself.”

He raised an eyebrow in surprise at the answer. “Why so many?” He blurted out before he could stop himself. In all his years as a profiler he had only met two other D.I.D people. One of them had three while the other only had two.

Ko raised an eyebrow at the rudeness of the question and replied “The answer to that question is not relevant to this conversation.”

Spencer flushed slightly at the rebuke. “That was very rude of me. I apologize. Sometimes I say things without thinking first.”

She made a small, noncommittal sound and continued. “You will meet all but one of the others during the course of this meeting and you will never speak with me again.”

He frowned and asked “How many here know about this…..situation?”

“Three including you. Four people total in our life.” She replied and then tilted her head slightly as if she were listening to something only she could hear. “One other thing that you need to know. The man being let out on parole is the father of the body. The fact that he is being let out on parole is distressing to most of them and enraging both the protector and the one whose job it is to feel that particular emotion strongly. Know that the others are capable of feeling anger as well as all other emotions, but some of them, out of necessity, feel one particular emotion more strongly than the others.”

“May I ask what he went to prison for?”

“He killed his wife in front of some of us and then he tried to kill our body. I’m the one that supplied the necessary information to the person who was Out to relay to the police and, then later, to the judge and jury at the trial.”

Spencer nodded his head in understanding. The judge and jury would have been suspicious if the person on the stand answered question with a complete lack of emotion.

She turned back to face the feral. “James, you need to watch some of the others very carefully. The fetus is in danger right now and if they were to miscarry it could prove to be very disastrous and place all of us in a great deal of danger. I will do what I can to mitigate the fallout if it should happen, but I don’t determine who is Out at any given time.”

Logan nodded in acknowledgement as he got up and went to leave to get everyone something to drink. When he opened the door, he came face to face with Scott.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for taking so long to post this chapter. For obvious reasons it was a bit difficult to write.


	3. Anger and Fear

“Logan, why the hell did you take off? We weren’t done yet.” Scott demanded, looking at him. 

“Scott.” Spencer said, getting his attention. “He had a very good reason, so please, leave him alone about it.”

Logan pushed past Scott and headed towards the kitchen and Scott entered the office.  When he glanced around he saw the young woman standing close to Spencer’s desk. His eyes hardened behind the ruby quartz lenses.

“What the hell are you doing here?” He asked harshly. “Come to cause more trouble?”

Spencer watched as her eyes turned to a hard emerald colour.

“None of your goddamn business.” She replied, hostility clear in her voice.

“I want you out of here now. If you want to visit with Logan than he can meet you in the city, but I never want you here. I thought I made that clear last time.” Scott said in a hard, uncompromising tone.

Remy moved to stand beside the young woman and Spencer got up to stand beside his eldest brother.

“Leave her alone, Scott. I will not have my office turned into a battle zone.” Spencer said with quiet determination.

Scott turned to his brother. “You’re _defending_ her?” He asked incredulously.  “You don’t even know her!”

Spencer shook his head as he replied. “No. I think that she is quite capable of defending herself. I just don’t want my office turned into a battle zone. I happen to like it the way it is.”

Scott glared at her and she glared back.

 “I’m going to ask you one more time. What the _fuck_ are you doing here? You know damn well that you’re not welcome here and you know why.” He said, as his hands curled into fists and he took a step towards her.

“Fuck you. Just because you and Red don’t like me doesn’t mean that I don’t have friends here. And the next time that red-haired bitch tries to force her way into my head she’ll end up with something worse than a migraine.” She snarled.

“Now, be a good boy and run along back to your mistress.”

“You bitch!” Scott cried through clenched teeth as he took a swing at her. He might have connected, but Spencer had grabbed his arm and twisted it up against his back, as Remy pulled her out of the way.

“Scott, you’re my brother and I love you, but if you can’t be civil in my office than I _will_ get Remy to escort you out of here.” Spencer said, resolutely.

“You can let go of me.” Scott said coldly.

“Are you going to behave?” Spencer asked cautiously and when Scott nodded, he released his brother’s arm and stepped back a little.

 

While Spencer was dealing with his brother, she hid behind Remy.

“Please don’t let him hurt me.” She pleaded in a little girl voice that had all three men looking at her. She was looking down at the floor in an effort to avoid their eyes.

Spencer noticed that her posture had changed to a defensive hunch and her shoulders were raised in such a way as to bring her arms up quickly to protect her head. He had seen that kind of behaviour before in child abuse victims.

Scott snorted. “Manipulative bitch.”  He said quietly.

Spencer was looking at her with sympathy. “It’s alright, sweetie. You’re safe here. No-one’s going to hurt you here.”

“You promise?” She asked hopefully as she looked at him and he noticed that her eyes had turned a honey brown colour. Both Remy and Spencer nodded and Spencer sent a warning look to Scott. The fear in her eyes as she looked at Scott broke Remy’s and Spencer’s hearts and Scott pretended that it didn’t bother him.

 

Scott had always known that she was a little peculiar, but her behaviour today just plain out bothered him. Before today, he had only ever spoken with her a handful of times and the last time ended with a trip to the infirmary for him, her and Jean. And, all though Jean still hadn’t told him what had happened that day, he still held a grudge against the girl for viciously attacking his wife.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review! Please, please, please?! I need to know what you think of the story so far! (desperate pleading face)


	4. Lily

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer meets one of the children.

Chapter 4

 

When Logan got back from the kitchen bearing four bottles of water, he found that Scott had left and that Shadow was curled into herself in the corner of the sofa, her forehead resting on her knees. He noted the defensive position and approved.  He handed a bottle of water to each of the men and then carefully sat near her on the sofa. “Hey, Darlin’. You thirsty?”

She shook her head.

“You wanna talk about what happened with Scott?” He asked quietly, looking at her and apparently ignoring the other two in the room. He didn’t really give a rat’s ass if it bothered them or not, his main focus was on the very troubled young woman. As he placed the two water bottles on the coffee table, he noticed that she was starting to shake and the emotions coming at him through their link were very chaotic. He was willing to bet that there were at least a couple of people fighting to come Out.

 

When the internal battle was over, it was Shadow that looked up at him wearily, eyes swimming with tears. “I’m so tired. Of being afraid, of having to fight for every little bit of happiness, of being rejected by Vic again, of everything. All I want to do right now is sleep.” She whispered as she crawled into his lap. She laid her head down on his shoulder and closed her eyes, a few tears slipped down her face, as his arms came up and cradled her close to him. She made a small contented sound as she breathed his scent in.

 

When her eyes opened again about a minute later, her entire face lit. “Very!” someone said in a light, childish voice with all the enthusiasm of a small child.

“Hey, there, Buttercup.” The gruff man answered somewhat indulgently.

“I’m not Buttercup! I’m Lily.” She responded cheerfully, bouncing in his lap.

“And I’m Wolverine. Not Very.” He said using the same tone as her.

 

Spencer noticed that general mood of the room just significantly lightened and, given the person’s response, they were now dealing with a child.

“Hello, Lily.” Spencer said, watching her with a neutral expression.

 

When her eyes lit on him, she gave him a great big, cheerful smile. “Hi, Penny. It’s very nice to finally meet you eye to face.” She said impishly, her eyes a sparkling green.

 

“Lily, do you know what happened the last time you were here?” Spencer asked.

 

“Let’s see.” She said, thinking hard about it. “Well, I went swimming and I coloured and I watched t.v with some of the others in the house and I helped ‘Ro in the greenhouse and the gardens and I sat for Peter and then I had dinner and then I went to bed and Logan told me a story and then I went to sleep.” She concluded with a satisfied nod. “If you want to know about the rest of the day, you’ll have to ask one of the others and if you want to know about any fights, you’ll have to ask Magda or Dala. Other than Shadow, they’re the ones that deal the most with physical conflicts.”

 

“May I speak with one of them?” He asked politely.

She gave him an impish smile and replied “And what do I get in return?”

He narrowed his eyes contemplatively. “What would you like?”

“More Out time. I like it here. They have the best gardens, a lake, a forest and I can go swimming whenever I want!”

 

“I don’t know if I can do that for you.” He replied gently.

 

“Oh.” She replied disappointedly. “Well then you can tell me why you want to talk to them.”

“I need to know what happened to make Scott so angry with you.”

“Why do you care?” She asked and then she frowned. “Are you going to try to make us integrate?” She asked suspiciously.

To say that he was startled by this response would be understatement. He, however, schooled his features so that it didn’t show.


	5. Kat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer meets Kat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the lateness of this chapter. Real life interfered.

“No. That would have to be something that all of you agree to do. **IF** all of you decide to do so, then I will certainly help, but that is not something that I would force on any of you.” Reid replied calmly.

 She looked at him for a moment longer with suspicion in her bright green eyes before a huge smile lit up her face and the suspicion was replaced with mischievousness. She abruptly cocked her head as though listening to something or someone that only she could hear. She nodded and then closed her eyes. The playfulness disappeared and the expression changed to one of watchful humour. When her eyes opened they were the colour of light maple syrup.

“Hello.” She greeted as she turned and snuggled into Logan’s arms. She buried her face in his neck and inhaled his scent, purring as she did so. Then, with feline grace, she climbed out of his lap and slinked over to Spencer. She was careful not to invade his personal space.

“So, I understand that you want to speak with me about The Incident.” She said with smoky sensuality.

Spencer’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed heavily and he took a step away from her. A look of unease quickly crossing his face.

“That’s right.” He replied, trying to sound unaffected by her. She smirked at his obvious unease.

“Relax, junior. I don’t bite unless asked. Just ask Logan.” She said, tossing a quick, heated glance at said man.

Logan raised an eyebrow and smirked challengingly at her. Spencer cleared his throat, feeling a little uncomfortable with the sexual vibe that the woman exuded.  He decided to redirect her attention back to the topic of The Incident.

“I take it you’re the one to talk to about what happened between you, Scott and Jean?”

“Well, well, aren’t you a rude little boy.” She teased and gave a small chuckle as his face went red, as he remembered that he had yet to ask whom he was speaking with.

For all that he has a degree in psychology and is a very accomplished profiler; he is NOT a psychiatrist and, so, found himself feeling a little out of his depth with this very sexual individual.

“My apologies, miss. Do I need to introduce myself?” He asked, curious as to how she would answer.

“Of course not. I know who you are. My name is Kat. Do I make you uncomfortable?” She purred, walking over to him and trailing a finger along his jaw. He took a steadying breath and slowly let it out.

He decided to answer her question honestly. “Yes. A little. However, I think that you do that on purpose.”

“Smart man.” She replied, smiling at him, mischief bright in her eyes. “That’s one of the reasons that Jean did what she did to us. She didn’t like the way I behaved around the men of the mansion. Remy included FYI. Gay, straight, taken or single. I flirt with everyone. Including women. Apparently that made her _really_ uncomfortable.” She shrugged.

“So what happened?”

“She decided that I needed some one on one therapy inside my, sorry, _our_ head. I warned her that she wasn’t going to be let in. I didn’t tell her _why_ of course, but that apparently didn’t seem to have any effect. In fact, she had multiple warnings to stay out of our head, but she just _wouldn’t take the hint_. So, when she tried to force her way in, we did what we normally do when faced with an unwanted mental intrusion. We attacked her. After all, what is a good defense without a vicious offence? Our shields are designed to defend against just about anyone and anything. Our minds were our _only_ safe haven for years. Do what you will to the body, but leave our minds alone. That’s all that we ask. And for those who don’t respect that…”she shrugged. “Well, let’s just say that they get what they deserve. She attacked us. We defended ourselves. It’s really that simple. It’s not our fault that Scott objected to the way that Magda, Shadow and I defended the others. Jean didn’t listen to the warnings to stay out, so she paid the price. It’s not my fault that Magda tried to literally rip her throat out. That’s one of her jobs. People don’t listen to any of us, we get frustrated, and they get to deal with Magda.”

 


	6. Dala

The smile that Kat gave after she said that was a touch on the nasty side. And then she started to hum Crawling by Linkin Park, and her eyes went as nasty as her smile as she retreated.

The next one to come Out, looked at him cautiously, her head tilted a little to the right. Her voice when she spoke was similar to Kat’s and her eyes were a dark jade colour. Her mouth a straight line, as she appeared to think about what she wanted to say. She greeted the three men and a faint smile graced her face.

“My name is Dala. I’m the more tempered twin. Myself, Shadow and Kat are the ones that are Out the most. Kat is the waitress at Fray’s Bar _(A/N: totally made up, not a real place)_ , Shadow is the live entertainment on the weekends and I make sure that guys get the hint about being unavailable. And if I have to sprain a few wrists and black a few eyes in the process, well, so be it.”

She tilted her head to the side and said “We’re about to have company and the explanations are done anyway.”

Then there was a knock on the door right before it opened and Alex walked in. He nodded a greeting to the three men and then looked at her. He snorted in disgust and glared at her.

“What are you doing here?” He asked his voice hard and confrontational.

She got up, pulling on Logan’s hand in a subtle gesture to follow. “Leaving. I’ll see you at dinner?” She asked, looking at Spencer. He nodded.

“If you could close the door on your way out?” He asked, smiling gently at her.

“Sure thing, Darlin’.” She responded and grabbed her bag. “You comin’, sweetie?”

Logan nodded and escorted her out of the office, making sure to close the door. When they got to Logan’s room, she sat the bag down on the floor and collapsed on the bed. He nudged her bag towards the closet and sat down on the bed. He positioned himself against the headboard. She crawled over and used his left thigh as a pillow.

“Why is playing nice so exhausting?” she asked tiredly. Then started to purr when his hand came down to run through her hair soothingly. He didn’t respond to the question and she obviously didn’t expect one as she nuzzled into his leather clad leg. She closed her eyes and soon was asleep. Feeling safe for the first time since Victor had left her a little more than two weeks ago.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I took so long to update.

Chapter 7

While Logan and Shadow were heading up the stairs, Spencer and Remy were being confronted by Spencer’s brother Alex.

“What the hell, Pidge?” Alex said angrily, remembering the last time he saw Shadow. “What the fuck is that bitch doing here?”

Spencer sighed, closed his eyes and shook his head. He could feel a migraine starting just behind his eyes. Remy ignored Alex’s presence and approached his lover.

“You alrigh’, _Cher_?” he asked softly, turning Spencer so that he could crouch down in front of him. He sent calm and love down the link. Spencer nodded to Remy and looked at Alex to address his question.

“She’s here for the same reason any other fellow mutant in her situation would be here. Sanctuary. Now if you don’t mind, I have some work to do.”

At the clear dismissal, Alex just gaped at as Spencer started going through the files on his desk.

Remy took the hint, grabbed Alex by his arm and dragged him out of the office and into the hall.

“If you recall, _homme_ , Penny wasn’ here the last time she was, so lay off ‘im.”

“Why is she really here?” Alex asked looking at his fellow X-Man with irritation.

“Precisely why _mon petit_ said. Sanctuary from someone who wants to kill her.” Remy said as he started down the hall towards the kitchen. Alex caught up with him fairly quickly, wanting to continue the conversation.

“Why doesn’t her pet psycho take the guy out for her?”

Remy gave a dark chuckle and said “Because he left her alone before she found out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the shortness of the chapter, but I hit a block and decided that this would be a good note to end this chapter on.


	8. Plea for help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read this and help me out.

Sorry, folks, this is not a new chapter on account of me still being stuck between two choices. I literally do not know how to proceed. So, I am BEGGING for your help. Please, **_please help me_** _decide_ if Shadow should miscarry or not. Please let me know in the comments section as this will have a bearing on the next chapter. _  
_

 

Thank you for your continued support and indulgence.

 

Castianamicheals  :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the lack of an actual chapter, but as you could see I really need your opinion on this.


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